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Iris Haim is the mother of three children, Tuval, Yotam, and Noya. She is married to Raviv and has lived for many years in the western Negev.
She is a certified nurse, specializing in palliative care. Since 2011, she has been supporting families and assisting in end-of-life processes, with a focus on dementia patients.
Iris has also studied various spiritual disciplines, including mindfulness, spiritual accompaniment, Theta Healing, psychodrama, NLP, Reiki, bioenergy, and positive thinking.
On October 7th, she needed to draw upon all these tools to survive a reality she never expected to face.
How can we create a reality that allows us to breathe even when it feels like there is no more air?
How can we tell a story of strength even when everything is crumbling around us?
How can we live with joy even when the ground is collapsing beneath our feet?
Photo: Maya Meshel
Iris delivers lectures worldwide under the title “In Light, Not in the Darkness – The Story of Yotam Haim.”
The lecture is accompanied by photos and videos from Yotam’s life, showcasing who he was and telling the story of his complex personality.
The lecture lasts about an hour and a half, followed by time for questions.
“On October 7th, 2023, the ground beneath my feet collapsed when my son Yotam, 28 years old and a resident of Kibbutz Kfar Aza, was kidnapped and held in captivity.
In the 70 days that followed, until December 15th, I chose to hold onto unwavering faith and hope that he was alive, surviving, and being cared for.
I chose to see the good in life instead of the bad, a choice that ultimately helped Yotam survive better in captivity and even succeed in escaping.
I chose to create faith out of nothing—to believe in Yotam, in the State of Israel, in the army, and in the government. I preferred to speak in positive terms.
On the day of his release from captivity, when we were given the worst possible news, I had to choose again.
This lecture is based on Yotam’s story—how in both life and death, he overcame daily struggles.
It’s about the choices he made and the choices I made throughout his life.
It’s about the choice I made during the last 70 days of his life on this earth.
And about the choices I am making now.
It’s about the ability to choose, at any given moment, to see the good, to choose the narrative for myself, and to create the reality that suits me.
It’s about how to live with a mindset of happiness and not a mindset of victimhood.”
Biography – Iris Haim
Iris Chaim was born on April 18, 1966 (28th of Nisan) in Haifa, Israel. She is the eldest child of Simcha and Thelma Harel. Her father, Simcha, was born in Israel and was a dancer, while her mother, Thelma, also a native Israeli, was a Hebrew literature teacher. Iris has a younger brother named Boaz.
In her early years, Iris mainly lived with her grandparents, Yehudit and Moshe Chabash, although the exact reasons are unclear. Until the age of four, she spent most of her time with them. The family lived at 66 Galilee Street in the Neve Sha’anan neighborhood of Haifa.
Iris was always a happy, smiling, and active child. She excelled in her studies, with a particular passion for biology. She learned to play the piano and accordion and was always surrounded by friends.
She participated in the Machanot Ha’olim youth movement, specifically in the Neve Sha’anan chapter, and by 9th grade, she became a counselor. The movement was a significant part of her life, and she actively participated in trips, group activities, and guiding her campers.
At 16, Iris made the first major decision of her life—she chose to join the “kibbutz class” of the Machanot Ha’olimmovement and moved to the young kibbutz of Ein Zivan.
In the summer of 1982, along with 19 other boys and girls, all members of the movement, Iris moved into an apartment with three other girls—Naomi and Dganit from Be’er Sheva, and Galia Baram from Moshav Aseret.
From 1982 to 1984, she lived on the kibbutz, worked in the apple orchard, and studied at the Har V’Gai school in Kibbutz Dafna.
Iris adapted well to life on the kibbutz, despite the distance from home, her parents, and friends. She enjoyed her new life and loved to dance, swim, read, and participate in plays.
During her army service, she met Raviv, who would later become her husband and the father of her children. They married in 1991 at Kibbutz Gvulot, where they had their three children: Tuval, Yotam, and Noya.
Iris’s dream was to be a dancer or a flight attendant, but she eventually considered a career in medicine. However, after not being accepted into medical school, she enrolled in nursing studies instead.
Over the course of her 30-year career, Iris found her passion in supportive care. She worked as a hospice nurse and, in 2014, founded the Refuat Haim organization, which is dedicated to supporting and assisting all people in need.
The field of palliative care deeply resonated with Iris, and she continued to acquire more tools, including mindfulness, NLP, Theta Healing, psychodrama, spiritual accompaniment, bioenergy, shamanic healing, and positive thinking.
These skills would ultimately serve her on the most difficult day of her life—the day her son Yotam was kidnapped.
